Our Hero meets a guy who "had a crazy day yesterday"?
With slight fear and great curiosity, Our Hero is about to ask, "what happened?" to The Guy after he starts a conversation with, "man, ... I had a crazy day yesterday." But, before Our Hero could inquire about said wild experience, The Guy really juices the story up. Our Hero's angst rises when The Guy blurts, with zero hesitancy, " yeah, this girl man, ... she bit me!" and he proceeds to rub his upper thigh, massaging the wound. In a stupefied shock, brought on by the fact that The Guy is now rolling his pant leg up to show Our Hero the evidence of "a crazy day," Our hero's mind farts. With nothing better to say, Our Hero reverts back to what he had already queued up to say during the safer part of the conversation, "what happened?" Mistake. even hero's make them sometimes. Though Our Hero is almost instantly regretful upon inquiring, he is also intrigued at how The Guy received this chomp on his upper/inner thigh ... perhaps some things are better left unknown. oh well.
The Guy, already having indicated that this would be an awkwardly steam story suited solely for stalwart souls of serious sexual stamina, starts his story:
"so, this girl calls me saying she needs a place to stay, ..."
Our can't help but think to himself, *"girl"?? like, 18, right? lets go with a possible yes? "place to stay" eh? oh boy."
Well, anyways, as this innocent starting story goes from steamy to awkward to worse, Our Hero's mind shuts further and further and further down. The mature monologue ended after the final bit of the story was told -- something about ripping shirts, biting legs, being paid for services rendered and, oh yes, pushing said server out of the car onto the street. Our Hero is mentally exhausted. And can only respond with a questionable, " ... wow. that was a crazy day, man."
*please never tell that story again, man*
The Guy spoke true. He did have "a crazy day yesterday."
Next time(!): Our Hero takes a long shower in an attempt to cleanse his brain and soul!
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Thankfulness: Singleness
Okay, this one has been hard to write... I'm sure I'll look back and think, "what in the...?" oh well. here it goes.
Let me please preface this with telling you that my whole life has been spent "doing the right thing so that I can be a good guy who gets a good girl and who lives happily ever after." Marriage has been (and may still be) a huge idol in my life. (Yup, I'm a guy who has idolized marriage.) Also, this is NOT meant to be a pity party. I am very, very glad I'm single, currently! God knows exactly what He's doing, and it's just recently that I can comprehend that, a little. Please remember that if you're reading this. : )
Why am I thankful for my lonely, hopeless and disappointing singleness? I'm glad you asked!! Let me tell you!
Being single is pretty lonely. Sure, you have your bros and family and some really good friends (if you're as lucky as I am), but there is a lack. There is a feeling that no one wants to be with you, specifically. You look around, see affection being reciprocated between two people, and you realize that you don't have what they have. being lonely is realizing that you are not complete and there is nothing you can do about it -- despite your best efforts -- on your own. There is almost a sense of helplessness.
Being single is is pretty hopeless. That is, when your whole life has been seeking fulfillment in a relationship, being single is very hopeless. Fearing rejection, then being rejected, is not a bad thing. But, when you stake your worth on being accepted or rejected, like I do, it is devastating. And the worst part is that I put myself in that position because of my own insecurities! I tell myself, "I'm only worth something if I have a girlfriend." I have assumed that since I have never had a girlfriend, I am worth nothing and am, as a matter of fact, pretty gross.
Being single is disappointing -- when you are so dang hopeful for something and you really shouldn't have it, of course it's disappointing! I have hoped in one girl or another for purpose to my whole life! That's a lot of pressure to put on her!! (That's also the biggest turn off that I am aware of -- "insecurity" at it's finest.) "here chicka, carry my all of my issues and fix them!" That's what I'm saying! And that's awful!! Being hollow and hoping that another person (who is also, probably, seeking fulfillment) will give you purpose or satisfaction leaves you so utterly drained! You end up completely disappointed in whoever you were hoping would fulfill you or in yourself for not being strong enough to fulfill yourself. But, disappointment, failure, and pain teach lessons so well if your instructor knows what He's doing!
Why would I tell you the weird, dumb inner thoughts and feelings I have about my own issues in this? Because I want you to know that I struggle with this and that, if you're single too, you probably struggle with these types of things too! This is one of those subjects I do not talk about hardly because this idol is very dear to me! I really don't want to be single! Also, I want to tell you because I do NOT like people who are married telling single people why it's such a blessing to be single! It feels like a person who has plenty of food telling an indigent that he should be thankful for how hungry he is! (Alright, that might be a bit harsh. Many married people have truly helped me in this.)
I'm single.
If you are also single, I want to tell you that is okay and, as a matter of fact, really good for you and me that we are not in a relationship with someone.
Here's why: Understanding, humility, responsibility, trusting.
I have learned so much more than I thought I ever would. When training, pain comes into play, you get sore, and you sometimes injure yourself. My goal has always been to get a good wife. That is what I have spent my life training for. That's missing the point entirely! It's not about getting a wife! It's about knowing GOD! Hoping in anything other than the Lord will always bring pain! And, I say this with faith only, He is far better than any wife could ever be! In choosing between gaining a wife and gaining the Lord, I chose to gain Him -- He kinda gave me no options because I would always choose not Him in my blind, misunderstanding. I am so thankful that I do not have the woman of my dreams while having no relationship with God. (Please know that I still struggle to believe what i have just written.)
In desperation, in feeling unsatisfied, in my arrogance, I turned to great looking sin in order satiate my desire for what I wanted. Oh yes, I did. In that, my sin eroded away any ounce of prideful thoughts of, "I'm a good guy and I deserve a great girl!" As far as I know, I'll be single my whole life. ...To be truly honest, that scares me. Yet, I am so thankful that my sin of pride, which has manifested itself in the form of lust, has been shown to me. Without my sinfulness being shown to me, humility would be my enemy and mercy would be my adversary. And I am so thankful that I can learn to deal with my sin without having to hurt a wife in order to turn away from it! I have not hurt her in that way! I am SO thankful for this opportunity to become a pure man without dragging a woman that I love through all that crap! (It is well known to me that I already have hurt her already in my current and past sinfulness. I do have baggage. she will need to forgive me.) I would not say I'm a humble or merciful person, but I think God is working these into me.
Living as a single for many years makes you live without being reliant on another. Sure, mom reminds me of all kinds of things I need to do, and I'm very glad for that. But if I don't do something, no one else is going to do it for me. Laundry? Dishes? Shopping? Getting the car fixed? Taxes? Signing up for health insurance? Fixing myself food? Etc. Yeah, I need to those things or they won't get done. And yes, it's a burden. But it's a burden I'm learning to bare so she won't have to bare more than she ought! I'm being taught to do what needs to be done so that she won't have to nag me about it! (Man, I hope I get good at this "responsibility" thingy! ... I got a long way to go.)
I have learned, to some small degree, to trust in the Lord without receiving what I want. "God, I will do anything for a good wife," I said in my heart. And He responded, "Will you give up a 'good wife' and follow Me? Would you let that dream go and dream of Me instead? Would you do that so I can truly give you the joy your heart desires?" ... Me: "Ok... but only if I get a good wife and then afterwards I'll seek You. K? thanks." What a silly boy I am. But the Lord did not accept that. And, "Instead of this He made me feel the hidden evils of my heart ... Yea more with His own hand He seemed intent to aggravate my woe -- crossed all the fair designs I schemed, cast out my feelings, laid me low. 'Lord, why is this?' I trembling cried [over and over and over I cried this to Him]. 'Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?' ''Tis in this way,' the Lord replied, 'I answer prayers for grace and faith. These inward trials I employ, from self [my dreams of being self sufficient, proven in the fact that I gained a good wife] and pride [my lust] to set you free -- and break thy schemes of earthly joy that thou mayest seek thy all in Me.'" (I Asked the Lord, John Newton, added italics)
And that is why I am so very thankful to be a single, lonely, hopeless, disappointed with life, guy. Yes, because God has a plan and is working it out, that is why I am very, very thankful to be single.
Let me please preface this with telling you that my whole life has been spent "doing the right thing so that I can be a good guy who gets a good girl and who lives happily ever after." Marriage has been (and may still be) a huge idol in my life. (Yup, I'm a guy who has idolized marriage.) Also, this is NOT meant to be a pity party. I am very, very glad I'm single, currently! God knows exactly what He's doing, and it's just recently that I can comprehend that, a little. Please remember that if you're reading this. : )
Why am I thankful for my lonely, hopeless and disappointing singleness? I'm glad you asked!! Let me tell you!
Being single is pretty lonely. Sure, you have your bros and family and some really good friends (if you're as lucky as I am), but there is a lack. There is a feeling that no one wants to be with you, specifically. You look around, see affection being reciprocated between two people, and you realize that you don't have what they have. being lonely is realizing that you are not complete and there is nothing you can do about it -- despite your best efforts -- on your own. There is almost a sense of helplessness.
Being single is is pretty hopeless. That is, when your whole life has been seeking fulfillment in a relationship, being single is very hopeless. Fearing rejection, then being rejected, is not a bad thing. But, when you stake your worth on being accepted or rejected, like I do, it is devastating. And the worst part is that I put myself in that position because of my own insecurities! I tell myself, "I'm only worth something if I have a girlfriend." I have assumed that since I have never had a girlfriend, I am worth nothing and am, as a matter of fact, pretty gross.
Being single is disappointing -- when you are so dang hopeful for something and you really shouldn't have it, of course it's disappointing! I have hoped in one girl or another for purpose to my whole life! That's a lot of pressure to put on her!! (That's also the biggest turn off that I am aware of -- "insecurity" at it's finest.) "here chicka, carry my all of my issues and fix them!" That's what I'm saying! And that's awful!! Being hollow and hoping that another person (who is also, probably, seeking fulfillment) will give you purpose or satisfaction leaves you so utterly drained! You end up completely disappointed in whoever you were hoping would fulfill you or in yourself for not being strong enough to fulfill yourself. But, disappointment, failure, and pain teach lessons so well if your instructor knows what He's doing!
Why would I tell you the weird, dumb inner thoughts and feelings I have about my own issues in this? Because I want you to know that I struggle with this and that, if you're single too, you probably struggle with these types of things too! This is one of those subjects I do not talk about hardly because this idol is very dear to me! I really don't want to be single! Also, I want to tell you because I do NOT like people who are married telling single people why it's such a blessing to be single! It feels like a person who has plenty of food telling an indigent that he should be thankful for how hungry he is! (Alright, that might be a bit harsh. Many married people have truly helped me in this.)
I'm single.
If you are also single, I want to tell you that is okay and, as a matter of fact, really good for you and me that we are not in a relationship with someone.
Here's why: Understanding, humility, responsibility, trusting.
I have learned so much more than I thought I ever would. When training, pain comes into play, you get sore, and you sometimes injure yourself. My goal has always been to get a good wife. That is what I have spent my life training for. That's missing the point entirely! It's not about getting a wife! It's about knowing GOD! Hoping in anything other than the Lord will always bring pain! And, I say this with faith only, He is far better than any wife could ever be! In choosing between gaining a wife and gaining the Lord, I chose to gain Him -- He kinda gave me no options because I would always choose not Him in my blind, misunderstanding. I am so thankful that I do not have the woman of my dreams while having no relationship with God. (Please know that I still struggle to believe what i have just written.)
In desperation, in feeling unsatisfied, in my arrogance, I turned to great looking sin in order satiate my desire for what I wanted. Oh yes, I did. In that, my sin eroded away any ounce of prideful thoughts of, "I'm a good guy and I deserve a great girl!" As far as I know, I'll be single my whole life. ...To be truly honest, that scares me. Yet, I am so thankful that my sin of pride, which has manifested itself in the form of lust, has been shown to me. Without my sinfulness being shown to me, humility would be my enemy and mercy would be my adversary. And I am so thankful that I can learn to deal with my sin without having to hurt a wife in order to turn away from it! I have not hurt her in that way! I am SO thankful for this opportunity to become a pure man without dragging a woman that I love through all that crap! (It is well known to me that I already have hurt her already in my current and past sinfulness. I do have baggage. she will need to forgive me.) I would not say I'm a humble or merciful person, but I think God is working these into me.
Living as a single for many years makes you live without being reliant on another. Sure, mom reminds me of all kinds of things I need to do, and I'm very glad for that. But if I don't do something, no one else is going to do it for me. Laundry? Dishes? Shopping? Getting the car fixed? Taxes? Signing up for health insurance? Fixing myself food? Etc. Yeah, I need to those things or they won't get done. And yes, it's a burden. But it's a burden I'm learning to bare so she won't have to bare more than she ought! I'm being taught to do what needs to be done so that she won't have to nag me about it! (Man, I hope I get good at this "responsibility" thingy! ... I got a long way to go.)
I have learned, to some small degree, to trust in the Lord without receiving what I want. "God, I will do anything for a good wife," I said in my heart. And He responded, "Will you give up a 'good wife' and follow Me? Would you let that dream go and dream of Me instead? Would you do that so I can truly give you the joy your heart desires?" ... Me: "Ok... but only if I get a good wife and then afterwards I'll seek You. K? thanks." What a silly boy I am. But the Lord did not accept that. And, "Instead of this He made me feel the hidden evils of my heart ... Yea more with His own hand He seemed intent to aggravate my woe -- crossed all the fair designs I schemed, cast out my feelings, laid me low. 'Lord, why is this?' I trembling cried [over and over and over I cried this to Him]. 'Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?' ''Tis in this way,' the Lord replied, 'I answer prayers for grace and faith. These inward trials I employ, from self [my dreams of being self sufficient, proven in the fact that I gained a good wife] and pride [my lust] to set you free -- and break thy schemes of earthly joy that thou mayest seek thy all in Me.'" (I Asked the Lord, John Newton, added italics)
And that is why I am so very thankful to be a single, lonely, hopeless, disappointed with life, guy. Yes, because God has a plan and is working it out, that is why I am very, very thankful to be single.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Thankfulness: why should I be? Prologue.
**TL;DR is at the end**
I have asked myself many times, "Why should I be thankful? -- What do I have that I could be thankful for!?" A lot of you would respond with something like, "oh, dude! Just look at what you have! You've got a good job, a good family (mostly), and you have good friends. Those are things you should be thankful for." I, being a pessimistic person, would respond with, "I could lose my job, my family is a wreck most of the time (whether you know it or not), and my friends?! Psh! I don't even know why they hang out with me!" (P.S. I really do have wonderful friends! ... and I really don't know why they hang out with me. okay, back on subject!)
In other words, I can look poorly at any good situation... how?! why? why can't I just be grateful for what I've been given?! There are SO many people who have such harder lives than I do! And they are so joyful and grateful for what little they have! ... that just makes me feel worse about myself.... I feel guilty when I think of how thankful people are while I'm moping around trying to drawn my guilt in video games and alcohol.
**Please let me say two things: One, yup, I have drowned my feelings in alcohol. I don't remember a year of my collage because I was so apathetic and depressed. To escape, I drank... and did other things. A story for another time. Two, when you are depressed, however you would like to define it, it overrides whatever reason there might be for being thankful. ... except for one reason. If you don't understand what it feels like to be depressed, please, trust me on how this works.**
Being thankful when you truly, truly do not feel like it is more than a burden.
Often, ... actually almost every time something really wonderful happens and my spirit is lifted, I instantaneously prep myself for the downfall. I prepare for the loss of something. I put my guard up. I get ready for the wonderful thing to turn out to be a painful and wretched experience. (For instance: I wake up, read my bible and pray, and I remember Gods promises. Yup, feeling great! "Thanks, God! I don't often feel this way!" Then I am blindsided by lust! or a memory of my sin! or my dad did something and I'm furious at him! Or remember the fact that I actually hurt that person! Or that girl I like updates her status to, "in a relationship"! [Yes, i'm that shallow.] I didn't turn to God, I turned to alcohol or whatever my heart desired! I'm a failure. I took that good day, and ruined it!) A pattern is formed: a good thing proceeds a far worse thing.
I say to myself, and it becomes true, "Any good thing will turn out to be worse than I could imagine."
To be honest, I'm ready for God to surprise me with a good thing that actually stays good.
When I'm feeling down, a common piece of advice is, "Make a list of all the things you're thankful for. everyday, do that." why? Nothing will turn out well in the end! It ALWAYS ends badly!!
...
And that is the crucial phrase or mindset: "It always ends badly".
For you see, I do not trust that God will work things for good. I do not trust that He is a loving and kind God to me!
"I know what He's done for others, but He isn't kind to me. only to other people--"
"No, Timothy! *mental slap* Self, you are just trusting in yourself! Self, you believe you know everything and that if you can't see it ending well, it won't! God has told you that He will take care of you! He will work all things for good! If you are a part of Him, He will prune you -- it will hurt!-- in order that you may be more fruitful! He has a purpose! you might not see it -- ever! -- but, He HAS A PURPOSE!"
"but what if He doesn't have a purpose?"
"Than He isn't who He says He is, and nothing matters; including whether you trust in Him or not."
"oh."
"yup."
Am I picking myself up by my own bootstraps? I don't think so. That strange, inner monologue is to say, if God is who He says He is, I can trust Him when He says it will work for my good and His glory. And if He's not who He claims to be, I'm already screwed and have nothing to lose by trusting Him anyways.
Okay, here's the short of all that:
Thankfulness cannot be contrived.
Thankfulness cannot be faked.
Thankfulness always comes from a heart and mind that believes in the goodness of God!
Thankfulness is the response to knowing that God is a God of purposeful, loving kindness!
Thankfulness is trusting that God is who He says He is.
So, why should I be thankful? It's the one reason that overrides depression: Because I hope in the purposeful, goodness of who God is!-- Oh, let Him be true when I don't believe, and me a liar when I trust myself!
TL;DR is just up there.
I have asked myself many times, "Why should I be thankful? -- What do I have that I could be thankful for!?" A lot of you would respond with something like, "oh, dude! Just look at what you have! You've got a good job, a good family (mostly), and you have good friends. Those are things you should be thankful for." I, being a pessimistic person, would respond with, "I could lose my job, my family is a wreck most of the time (whether you know it or not), and my friends?! Psh! I don't even know why they hang out with me!" (P.S. I really do have wonderful friends! ... and I really don't know why they hang out with me. okay, back on subject!)
In other words, I can look poorly at any good situation... how?! why? why can't I just be grateful for what I've been given?! There are SO many people who have such harder lives than I do! And they are so joyful and grateful for what little they have! ... that just makes me feel worse about myself.... I feel guilty when I think of how thankful people are while I'm moping around trying to drawn my guilt in video games and alcohol.
**Please let me say two things: One, yup, I have drowned my feelings in alcohol. I don't remember a year of my collage because I was so apathetic and depressed. To escape, I drank... and did other things. A story for another time. Two, when you are depressed, however you would like to define it, it overrides whatever reason there might be for being thankful. ... except for one reason. If you don't understand what it feels like to be depressed, please, trust me on how this works.**
Being thankful when you truly, truly do not feel like it is more than a burden.
Often, ... actually almost every time something really wonderful happens and my spirit is lifted, I instantaneously prep myself for the downfall. I prepare for the loss of something. I put my guard up. I get ready for the wonderful thing to turn out to be a painful and wretched experience. (For instance: I wake up, read my bible and pray, and I remember Gods promises. Yup, feeling great! "Thanks, God! I don't often feel this way!" Then I am blindsided by lust! or a memory of my sin! or my dad did something and I'm furious at him! Or remember the fact that I actually hurt that person! Or that girl I like updates her status to, "in a relationship"! [Yes, i'm that shallow.] I didn't turn to God, I turned to alcohol or whatever my heart desired! I'm a failure. I took that good day, and ruined it!) A pattern is formed: a good thing proceeds a far worse thing.
I say to myself, and it becomes true, "Any good thing will turn out to be worse than I could imagine."
To be honest, I'm ready for God to surprise me with a good thing that actually stays good.
When I'm feeling down, a common piece of advice is, "Make a list of all the things you're thankful for. everyday, do that." why? Nothing will turn out well in the end! It ALWAYS ends badly!!
...
And that is the crucial phrase or mindset: "It always ends badly".
For you see, I do not trust that God will work things for good. I do not trust that He is a loving and kind God to me!
"I know what He's done for others, but He isn't kind to me. only to other people--"
"No, Timothy! *mental slap* Self, you are just trusting in yourself! Self, you believe you know everything and that if you can't see it ending well, it won't! God has told you that He will take care of you! He will work all things for good! If you are a part of Him, He will prune you -- it will hurt!-- in order that you may be more fruitful! He has a purpose! you might not see it -- ever! -- but, He HAS A PURPOSE!"
"but what if He doesn't have a purpose?"
"Than He isn't who He says He is, and nothing matters; including whether you trust in Him or not."
"oh."
"yup."
Am I picking myself up by my own bootstraps? I don't think so. That strange, inner monologue is to say, if God is who He says He is, I can trust Him when He says it will work for my good and His glory. And if He's not who He claims to be, I'm already screwed and have nothing to lose by trusting Him anyways.
Okay, here's the short of all that:
Thankfulness cannot be contrived.
Thankfulness cannot be faked.
Thankfulness always comes from a heart and mind that believes in the goodness of God!
Thankfulness is the response to knowing that God is a God of purposeful, loving kindness!
Thankfulness is trusting that God is who He says He is.
So, why should I be thankful? It's the one reason that overrides depression: Because I hope in the purposeful, goodness of who God is!-- Oh, let Him be true when I don't believe, and me a liar when I trust myself!
TL;DR is just up there.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Riddle time!
Ok, I'm actually really curious...
"Ask me no questions, I'll tell ye no lies."
I'll give you wisdom from above, yet mortal words am I.
Advice is easy, actions then the test.
The wisest of the wise, his words I am,
the strongest of strong, can you follow them?
Role from the tongue, and comes easy to most,
Short and sweet oft am, yet sharp daggers and pointed can be.
I sway nations when the lords heed my voice.
By me, children are raised up - it's your choice:
Will I be as pearls to the swine to you?
A horse led to water yet does not drink?
Wise, yet simple, easy but so difficult, what am I?
Episode 5
On today's episode: snow, snow, and more potatoes!
Upon awaking with such enthusiasm as to cause the Pope to become jealous, Our Hero not on the slightest bit put off by the dichotic (made that word up.) Bipolarity (and that one) of the weather! With such vehemence, as to rival a way prego tortoise who is fighting to get to her egg laying beach front, Our Hero flings his shorts aside and dawns his work trousers. My gosh! he may have even posed in the mirror shirtless, causing angels to break out in chorus of course - this also cause jealousy to rise with the Pope. I mean those biceps, though! Needless to say, Our Hero put all the jackets on before heading out into the awkwardly cold, this-should-be-like-67-degrees-warmer weather to shovel his car out if the hateful mire known as "snow". (I actually really like snow a lot, btw!!) Utilizing the gargantuan biceps he was gloriously gifted with, Our Hero brushed hos car off, let it warm up, said, "screw you wall of snow that the plow guys left for me to o'er come!!" And smashed his way out onto the road. Nothing but the wall of snowy ice stuff broke. It was glorious. Mere hours after arriving at his place of heroism, our hero goes for his this-was-hot-at-one-point-...-probably coffee and takes a huge swig of perfection -- *flashback* Our Hero gets out a pan, cracks the insubstantial, and final, three eggs into the pan. He decides he will be a touch healthy and tosses a sturdy handful of spinach leaves into the pan as well. *end flashback* upon intake of said beverage, Our Hero's brain, not unlike the weather, experiences a dramatic range of emotional instability and, to be honest, questions it's very existence. So grand were the expectations Our Hero had for this dainty sip of this strong and slightly earthy flavored drink, yet, never was there such an odd explosion of contradictory tastes upon his tongue. The mug is tipped up. The mouth eagerly opens. The taste buds are practically audible in there cries of longing for the delicious coffee! Our Hero nearly gags. The coffee... the spinach... the eggs... they all come together in such forceful delivery that, in an interview with Your Truly after the incident, the only way Our Hero could describe it was, "it was like a nuclear bomb made entirely of potatoes just erupted inside my face." POTATOES, ladies and gentleman!! How could such a thing happen??
Once again, Our Hero has battled justly and fought ferociously!! And against all odds - the snow, the wall of snow, the healthiness, the POTATOES(?)!! - he has come out victorious! Again!
note: hitting the "back" button, after writing almost all of this, having almost all of this erased - holy garbage, that sucks!! I hit the "forward" button, and it was all still here though!!! Wooot!!
Contrast.
Contrast: it tells you the other side too.
A crying baby: it's alive.
A bored child: he isn't starving.
A son that weeps: he isn't a cold hearted bastard.
A daughter/sister who needs so much attention: she loves you.
A husband that snores: he's alive and next to you.
A wife that is hurt by his sins: she loves him.
Feeling lost: knowing you're supposed to be in a specific place.
Experiencing pain: you can still feel.
Fear: you still hope.
Darkness: you've known light and color.
Sin: there must also be righteousness out there too. And if someone is truly righteous, they are merciful too.
Making the Hard Decisions
My personal list of discussions that are VERY hard to make:
- should I go the restroom at work and be paid while doing my "business" or should I wait till I get home in 40 min where I'll be more relaxed?
- should I name my first born "Francis Hershel Worthington", or "Humphrey Beauregard Cleveland III"?
- should I wear my super comfy bland socks, so my feet are ultra happy, or should I wear my scooby doo socks and be in a super secret happy mood under my uniform?
- should I wear my fancy watch that's hard to tell time on so I look really chique and classy, or should I wear my g-shock 7000 - which can survive under the core of the earth for 12 second and is easy to read - so I can one-up those nerds out there?
- should I get an 8 layered otter-box that's proven to be blond proof, or live it on the dangerous side by letting my phone go naked?
- is Bruce Wayne actually Batman or not??
- if I could grow facial hair, would a beard or a goatee look better on me?
- (Last, but not least) is the hokey-pokey actually what its all about?
Idk, I guess I have a pretty rough life.... being an adult is hard.
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