Jan 27

Well. I woke up feeling like *a bad word which is appropriately used in this context*. Yup. My thoughts and heartset were bent on anger, pride, lust, and, worst of all, absolute discontented ungratefulness. The root of it all? Almost total distrust in God's goodness. Why the crap would I share this christianeze rhetoric?? Because being a Christian is not about being a fixed and good and healthy person. It's about being broken and about being too wimpy to help yourself. It's about denying that Christ is who He says He is three (or more) times, and still being forgiven - and being absolutely distraught over your foolishness. Being a Christian is not about waking up to sunshine and fat, harp playing cherubs who sing blessings of success and good feelings over you. It's about feeling like shit and yet knowing that a God of perfect purpose loves you to wretched death. And, it's about knowing that He has and will transform you to become a holy love accepting, love giving, strong and courageous man. (Or woman). Yup. ... that's all I know so far. (Meanwhile, Our Hero takes his first little baby steps of faith!!! Next time, less offensive language??) (<--- yea, I did just narrate my own life for a hot second there...)